I saw this door and it caught my eye. It instantly reminded me of all the doors that have been closed shut in my life. Whether I or someone else closed the door, my mind was just overwhelmed with all the different doors shut throughout my life. But those more recently than not were the ones that troubled me the most.
At first look, I saw this old, weathered door that needed some tlc. However, when I got a closer look, I could see the spots of something shinning in the moonlight, something beautiful. It looked like gold.
Sometimes the doors we want open in our lives are not the ones meant for us to walk through. Our focus is so fixed on what we think is best for us that we forget about the unexpected...the unknown and even the unlikely.
Why have I felt so hopeless at times? Why do I forget to see what I have been blessed with? Why do I forget that I am not alone. Simple. Because things haven't come easy for me. Anytime I even thought "There must be more to life...this can't be it." it has been a struggle to face all that I've had to, to get to a better place in life. It hasn't been easy. I've faced abandonment, abuse, poverty, low self-worth, divorce, and so many many other things. People have asked me "How do you do it?" and these people don't know the half of it...if they only knew. They'd be speechless.
Although I was raised in a pentecostal church, I'm not a religious person. I hate (yes I know hate is a strong word) religion. Growing up I knew that there was something very wrong with judging everyone around me and feeling that I was constantly doomed to hell no matter how "good" I was. Today, I am a follower of Christ. I try everyday to love God above all and to show His love to others as He commanded. I'm not perfect but hey, who is? I fail. I mess up. I fall short. I'm down right screwed up. But I get up everyday and try again. I know that God is with me and my family. He has shown me in very real ways. I know it's because he loves me that I get to walk through those unlikely doors, and what's even more amazing, is that He opens those doors at the perfect time.
He is who I rely on. It is this reason that my kids have never gone to bed hungry. They always have clothes to wear and a bed (or a sofa when they don't want to sleep in their beds lol) to lay on. I have struggled and I'm struggling now, but there is always something positive in my life that I can be thankful for. I have a long list.
So if you're going through a hard time, if you are beyond stressed, if you don't know how you're going to get through the day...I want to encourage you to keep going, even if it is minute by minute. Always remember that if a single mom of 5 kids can keep getting up day after day looking for her breakthrough...her victory, then you can too.